I was watching you tubes of Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort evangelizing on the street. I will not speak ill of my Christian brothers but I’ll say that we have differences in how we share the good news. One of the things they do is ask people how many of the ten commandments they can list off the top of their heads and then how many beers they can list as a way of showing misplaced priorities. Here is a link to Kirk and Ray’s video sermon on the subject. I would argue that asking this question of your average unbeliever is less an indication of misplaced priorities and more an indication of the reality in which they live. As I was watching I thought about what would happen if they asked me the same question.
So I will now list, without cheating, the ten commandments. I hope I get them right but I doubt I’ll get them in order.
Thou Shalt have no other God’s before me. ( this is cheating a little since it was mentioned in the video.)
Though shalt not make any graven image. (no idols)
Though shalt not take the Lord’s name in Vain. (no making promises in the name if God you have no intention of keeping.)
Though shalt honor the sabbath day and keep it holy.
Though shalt not murder.
Though shalt not steal.
Though shalt not commit adultery.
Though shalt not bear false witness.
Though shalt honor thy father and mother.
Though shalt not covet.
I feel pretty good about that, but i guarantee their out of order, but who cares about the order so long as you do them.
But now for beer. As a connoisseur of beer I will only list good beers, for beers of the people are beneath my mention, sniff. I guarantee I’ll beat the snot out of a mere ten.
Spaten Optimator is my all time fave!
A little lighter than Optimator and a little more zip.
A summer lunch beer.
Second favorite beer.
For when I'm feelin' sexy.
Doppel-Bock is also good.
This one gives you man-points.
Paulaner makes many beers, and all of them are counted worthy.
The Viking in Spokane has a stout so dark and bitter it's like drinking delicious wood mulch. This is not for the ladies as it will put hair on your chest.
As good as it sounds.
As good as breakfast.
Never a bad standard
Dark, rich, verile...
Funny name too.
I'll tip one of these back durring the tribulation.
Light-weights beware these sneak up on ya.
You have to talk about heavy stuff while you drink this one, but the sweet cherry after taste helps the conversation go down smooth.
Pat opened my eyes to sophisticated beers with these belgian classics. My eyes were opened and with them I first saw the world as God intended.
Anyhow, there are countless others, I’m just getting warmed up. But I tire of this excersize as it just makes me progressively more thirsty. I guess Kirk and Ray may have some hard words for me, but frankly I’ll have the last laugh when I sit in glory drinking triumphant beers with Christ.
Peace and good drinking to you all! In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost, AMEN!
Excellent post and very much a shared interest! Thank you!
By: Oh God, My Wife Is German on September 16, 2011
at 11:46 am
Oh man. I was hoping for a post matching each commandment to a beer!! More, more!
By: Katelyn on September 16, 2011
at 11:51 am
For some reason I was thinking of the drinking game “Ten Commandments” which accompanies the Charlton Heston movie of the same name.
The rules are simple: Whenever anyone says “Moses” you take a drink.
BarMeister.com rates the game on its 5 point scale of intoxication as “6/5-Potentially Deadly.” They note that in the first hour when Moses returns from Ethiopia, there is a crowd scene chanting Moses’ name, and that there are over 30 occasions in the film that his name is spoken in rapid succession (“Moses, Moses, Moses” is a recurring motif.)
By: The artist formerly known as Truckin on September 16, 2011
at 12:53 pm
So when are we playing?
By: Pat on September 16, 2011
at 2:15 pm
Was the beer from The Viking called Thor’s Thunder? I remember that one actually tasting like a wood pile smells.
By: Pat on September 16, 2011
at 2:16 pm
Thor’s Thunder indeed. And the tap handle was a huge pewter hammer. Screw Viagra, you want your mojo back take nip of Thor’s thunder and get ready to cast your lightening bolts. I feel more manly just thinking about drinking it.
By: Theophilus on September 16, 2011
at 2:20 pm
[...] along with a random foray into the shady theology of Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort about which I blogged briefly earlier. I thought about writing about hell as the more contentious of the two but decided against it [...]
By: Heaven « Psalms in Purgatory on October 5, 2011
at 4:36 pm